If you follow me on social media you would know that I put up a post about how maternity pay leaves me feeling anxious and it almost matched my outgoings and I’m having to basically sell the contents of my wardrobe and house just so I have a little bit more money every month. I have never been in a position before where I have felt like this and I really wouldn’t wish it on anyone. We cannot get benefits or apply for them as we are slightly over the wage bracket but if you spread that over 12 months it really isn’t a lot. Plus Brighton is incredibly expensive to rent in. I see it as more of a mini London now. Poor Phil is paying for basically everything whilst my maternity wage just pays for small bills, food, the dog and River’s bits.
I really don’t want to start looking for a job yet as River is only 4 months old and spending time with him as he is still so small is my main focus but I’m starting to worry about how I’m going to live once my SMP runs out in July then I will have absolutely no income and Phil’s wages will not cover the both of us to live. So…What am I planning to do? Who knows but I’m trying really hard to use this short amount of time to find something I love. Blogging, writing and connecting with you guys is that. I just don’t know how to take it further to become my job or to write for a job. My passion lies with baby loss and highlighting my journey into unconventional motherhood and I just have no idea how to take that further.
I spoke to a lovely woman on Facebook who suggested to have a donation button on my blogs directly linking to Paypal so if people did want to donate even 50p then that would help me put my foot in the right direction. But something so personal of asking or taking that leap is hard. especially for me as I’m really not that confident enough to carry it or play it off if it goes tits up. But then she explained that people pay for monthly magazine subscriptions or buy books that are expensive and they could be about anything but my writing is invaluable. I never in this whole time I’ve been blogging have I thought about my writing like that. to me, I just type how I feel in hope that someone out there feels less alone because of it. I never dreamt that I would want to do this as a job or more than just a hobby but I do. I really do love it. typing this is making me emotional as I have finally found something that gives me a purpose. I don’t think she will ever understand how much hearing someone describe my writing as that would make me proud. But, I am. I’m even too shy now to admit that I’m putting a donation button up. I don’t want people to feel like they have to donate or it puts them off reading my blog. MY BLOG IS FREE. It always will be but the option is there now in case you do want to. There is completely no pressure and I don’t want any of you to feel like there is. This is just more for me to turn something I love into something I love and can live doing.
Supporting my blog.
I would never expect anyone to pay to read my blog so it will always be free but having this donation button gives you the option of paying £1.50 to support the running of my blog. Please do not feel the need you have to, it is just there in case. Hannah x